Ghosts and Inner Demons
by Rogue11
Summary: After being together for more than two years Shuichi has learned to live with his lover’s extreme mood swings. He knows that the past still haunts Eiri, but he is convinced that if they only try hard enough and love each other deeply enough they will be
1. Settings

**Disclaimer:**

This story was written by fans only for the enjoyment of other fans, without any monetary compensation. Gravitation and its characters are registered trademarks of Maki Murakami and Ghentosha Comics Inc. All rights reserved.

**Title:**

Ghosts and Inner Demons

**Author:**

Rogue 11

**Rating:**

PG-13

**Warnings:**

Shonen -ai, strong language, mild sexual references and some violence

**Notation:**

_Italics_ – indicates thoughts or dreams****

**Bold** – indicates emphasis

**About the Story:**

After being together for more than two years Shuichi has learned to live with his lover's extreme mood swings. He knows that the past still haunts Eiri, but he is convinced that if they only try hard enough and love each other deeply enough they will be able to put those Ghosts to rest. But is it really that easy?


	2. Part 1

**Ghosts and Inner Demons**

Part 1

"Tell me, Uesugi-san, how is that new medication I prescribed working for you?" Dr. Mayoko asked, after she finished up her notes.

"Well…" Eiri was lying on her couch with his hands interlaced on his stomach, slowly tapping his thumbs together. He was taking these therapy sessions for nearly eight years now; ever since he had returned to Japan. In his opinion it was a waste of time, but it was the only way he could keep his father off his back.

The doctor looked at him firmly, but her voice was as soft as always when she told him. "The medications won't do you any good if you are not taking them."

"I do take them," he assured her, "most of the time. But they make me drowsy, and I can't write if I can't concentrate. I'm working on a schedule, and I have a deadline to keep."

She rose from the chair behind her desk and walked over to the couch. "Uesugi-san, perhaps you need to ask yourself what's more important, your health or your next book. You are not doing yourself any favors by pushing yourself too far."

He stared at the ceiling above him, but didn't answer.

Dr. Mayoko sighed. "Very well, I'll prescribe you a smaller dose of the sedative for now. Please, do yourself a favor and take it. And I'll see you again in two weeks."

* * *

"That's enough for today," K announced. "Go home, get some rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day. The stage at the Koseinenkin will be ours for rehearsal from eight to ten. I want everybody to be there on time, is that clear? That goes double for you, Shindou."

"Hey," Shuichi glared at the tall, blond manager. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I want you to be at the rehearsal on time," K replied.

"Oh," Shuichi's expression turned from glowering to cheerful in an instant. "Well, why didn't you just say that?" Bad Luck's singer walked over to his chair and grabbed his backpack. "I'll see you guys tomorrow then." He smiled brilliantly as he waved at the rest of the band – manager and producer included – and walked out of the room.

"Shu! … Wait up, Shuichi." Hiro's voice stopped him about half way down the hall. He turned and waited for his fried to catch up with him.

"Do you want me to give you a ride home?" Hiroshi asked.

"Sure," Shuichi nodded. "Thanks."

The two young men left the NG building together and walked side by side to the parking lot where Hiro's motorcycle stood.

"What do you think about the concert tomorrow?"

"It will be great," Shuichi beamed. "Even better than our last one. I just know it. Our 100th live concerts, can you believe it, Hiro? I still remember the first one."

"Yeah, so do I," Hiro laughed. "You suddenly forgot how to sing. It was a good thing Ryuichi was there to help you out before Sakano-san had a heart attack."

"Hey," his friend glared at him. "That can happen to anybody, okay. Besides, it was only because I didn't expect Yuki to be there and watch me."

"Talking of Yuki, will he come to see the concert tomorrow?"

Shuichi simply shrugged. "Probably not. He is working hard to get the script for his new book finished. He doesn't have time for anything else right now."

"Are you alright with that, Shu?" Hiro looked at his friend skeptically.

"Of course I am." Shuichi's smile was back in an instant. "After all, I'm a professional too; I know what it means to have a deadline to keep."

Hiro didn't seem convinced by his friend's cheerful façade, but he didn't say anything. Neither of them spoke until they reached his bike.

"Do you want to go grab something to eat before I take you home?" the longhaired guitarist asked, as he searched his pockets for the keys.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry right now." Shuichi shook his head. "Just drop me off at my place."

His friend shook his head. "So, he threw you out again? Why this time?"

"It's not like that," Shuichi objected. "He didn't throw me out. I moved out on my own to give him some space till his book is finished. Besides, I needed some peace and quiet as well. I still have to write the lyrics for three more songs for our new album. I work better when I'm not distracted by anybody."

"Yeah, right," Hiro snorted. _And any moment now it's going to start raining fried chicken_.

::: Begin Flashback :::

"Let's go out for dinner, Yuki."

"No!" the blond didn't even look up, but continued typing away on his laptop.

"Why not? I'm hungry," Shuichi whined.

"There is food in the kitchen."

"I know…but."

"But what?" Eiri gave the younger man an annoyed look.

"We never go anywhere or do anything together. If you are ashamed to be seen with me in public, why did you announce to the press that we are lovers?"

"Sometimes I'm asking myself the exact same question."

"You can be so mean." Shuichi settled down on the edge of Yuki's desk and draped one leg over the other in a manner that gave the writer a good look at his bare thighs. He was wearing a pair of cut off jeans that was so short that it would probably be outlawed in some countries.

Eiri let his gaze wander over the young man's long, slender legs, and up his body. _He used to be just cute. When did he become so damn sexy, and where was I when that happened?_ The blond forced his look back to his keyboard. "Go away, I have to work."

"You always say that," his young lover sulked.

"This is my job," Eiri reminded him. "You don't hear me complain when you leave in the morning to go to the studio, do you?"

"What are you saying? You'd rather want me to stay her with you all day long?" Shuichi leaned forward and looked at the blond with hopeful puppy-eyes.

"No!" Yuki snapped. "That's most definitely not what I'm saying."

"Alright, alright," the younger man huffed. "No reason to yell at me." He rose from the desk, an adorable little pout on his lips. "Maybe I'll just go out by myself. I'm sure it shouldn't be too hard to find somebody who is more fun to be around than you."

"Great idea," Eiri agreed without looking up. "Why don't you just do that?"

Shuichi's eyes widened, then glazed over with tears. "You really don't care, do you?"

"Not particularly," Yuki admitted. "Not when I have my publishers breathing down my neck." He reached for a pack of Alpha-menthol that was lying next to him on the desk and pulled out one of the cigarettes.

"You really should cut down on those," Shu told him. "Don't you know that cigarettes are bad for your health?"

That was it. Eiri finally had enough. He gave Shuichi a glare that was icy enough to freeze an active volcano. "The only thing that's bad for my health is you," he growled. "You talk too much, you are annoying and you are getting on my nerves. Get out and let me work… now!"

For a moment it looked like Shuichi was going to reply something, but then he just dropped his head, turned and walked out of the room.

When he door closed behind him Yuki closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

For the next ten to fifteen minutes it was quite; almost too quiet for Eiri's taste. He was listening, but he couldn't even hear the TV or the radio playing in the living room. _I wonder what the little brad is up to now_.

A few moments later there was a knock at the door. "Yuki"

"What now?"

"I'm leaving," Shuichi's voice came from the other side. "I think it might be better if I'm going back to my place for a while. Call me if you need me."

Eiri didn't answer.

"Yuki?! Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, I did. Make sure to lock the door on the way out."

::: End Flashback :::

"Why do you let him do that to you?" Hiro asked as he slipped on his helmet.

"Do what?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. He treats you like some kind of battery operated toy that he can turn on and off however it pleases him," he looked at his friend, concern in his eyes. "You deserve better that that, Shu."

Shuichi turned his head away. "Please, Hiro, you don't know half of what's really going on."

"Maybe not," Hiro admitted. "But I'm your friend. And I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt again. Not by him and not because of him."

"Don't worry," Shuichi assured him with a smile. "That won't happen again. Back then I was foolish and I really didn't know anything about him. But now, it's different."

* * *

When Hiroshi had dropped him off in front of the small bungalow he lived in, his friend had tried to convince him once more to go out with him for dinner and a few drinks, but Shuichi had refused.

He watched Hiroshi's motorcycle disappear in the distance before he walked up the driveway to the house. It was a small flat, nothing compared to the place Yuki owned, but it was all he really needed. He didn't stay here very often anyway.

He had bought this house shortly after the Tokyo Music Fest, when he wasn't quite ready to move back in with Yuki, but wanted to be close enough to his lover to see him every day. It had also been at about the same time that Yuki had allowed Shu to accompany him for a visit to his therapist. If that was another attempt by his lover to scare him off – like the time when Eiri had suddenly and bluntly told him that he was a murderer - it didn't work. In fact, after talking to Dr. Mayoko Shuichi was more convinced than ever that he could help Yuki to put the demons of his past to rest, if he only tried hard enough.

Shuichi unlocked the door, stepped into the house and threw his keys onto the counter in the kitchen. He grabbed a can of soda from the fridge before he walked into the living room to check his answer machine. When he didn't find any new messages on the tape Shuichi picked up the phone and dialed Yuki's number.

Eiri looked up from the keyboard, but otherwise ignored the ringing phone. After the fourth ring the answer machine picked up. Moments later Shuichi's voice filled the room.

"Yuki, are you there? Pick up the phone if you are listening. I want to talk to you. I just want to hear your voice….pweassssssse." There was a moment of silence, then a sigh. "Well, I guess you aren't home after all. Give me a call when you get this message. – Wait; there is one more thing I wanted to tell you… I love you, Yuki!"

_Baka! _Eiri shook his head and huffed as he turned his attention back to his work.

About an hour later the blond novelist turned off his computer. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. His shoulders felt stiff from sitting too long in an uncomfortable, hunched over position. He raised his hand to rub the back of his neck. _If Shu was here he would have me lie down on the couch and give me a long massage right now. He is damn good at it too. He …_ Eiri shook his head to dismiss the thought without finishing it, as he rose and walked into the kitchen.

In the refrigerator he found several microwavable meals and a message in a familiar handwriting.

**Yuki,**

**Don't forget to eat while I'm gone. **

The note was signed with an "S" and a big smiley face.

Eiri snorted as he crumpled the paper and tossed it in the general direction of the garbage can without turning his head. He pushed aside the food and reached for one of the beer cans hidden behind it. With the beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other, Yuki settled down on the couch in the living room and made himself comfortable.

_"You are quite a pretty little boy, aren't you? I'm sure we will have a lot of fun together."_

_He stared at the two men with wide eyes, frozen with fear. They were close enough now that he could feel their breaths on his face._

_"Yuki, please! Don't let them do this to me. I don't want them to touch me…" he pleaded, as he looked up at his teacher with tears in his eyes. But Yuki didn't even turn around. _

_"Shush, stop whining" one of the other men snarled at him. "What are you so scared about? We are just going to have some fun, that's all."_

_He tried to turn his head away as the man leaned closer. He could smell alcohol and sweat. A large hand seized his chin roughly; a second hand pushed him against the wall, immobilizing him. He closed his eyes in a mixture of shame, fear and disgust as a pair of lips pressed against his with bruising force. _

_He could feel somebody's hand, brushing over the inside of his thighs, moving higher until it reached his crotch._

_He started to sob. Why, Yuki? Why do you let them do this to me? What did I do? _

Eiri woke with a start. He was drenched in sweat, and panting. _A Nightmare_, he thought. _That's what you get for falling asleep on the couch.   
_He covered his eyes with his right forearm and lay there, trying to bring his breathing and his raging heartbeat under control. _Oh god, I haven't had a nightmare that bad for a long time_.

There was no use to try to go back to sleep now. He knew from experience that the nightmare would continue the moment he drifted off, and he couldn't deal with that now. Eiri glanced at the phone as he swung his legs over the side of the couch and sat up. Shuichi's voice echoed in his head.

**_ I'm leaving. I think it might be better if I'm going back to my place for a while. Call me if you need me! … Call me if you need me…if you need me… _**

The blond writer shook his head resolutely, as he rose. _I don't need him! I don't need him to sit here and worry. I can do **that** by myself._ He poured himself a drink, settled down by the window and stared into the starlit night sky. _Why, Yuki? Why can't you just go away and leave me alone? It's been eight years. Haven't you punished me enough for what I did?_

T.B.C.

Author's Note:

Feedback is greatly appreciated, constructive criticism is welcome :-)


	3. Part 2

**Thank you everybody for reviewing. Your feedback is very encouraging, especially since this is my first Gravitation fic. I usually write Gundam Wing.**

* * *

**Ghosts and Inner Demons**

Part 2

Fujisaki Suguru tapped his pen impatiently against the table surface, as he glanced at the clock on the wall.

Two thousand screaming fans expected Bad Luck to appear on stage in less than fifteen and Shuichi was being late, once again. He had left after their morning rehearsal, to grab a bite to eat as he said, and hadn't come back yet.

Sakano stood by the window, looking a little pale, as though he was about to pass out.

K paced forth and back in the dressing room, his expression indicating that he was ready to blow any minute.

Hiroshi was the only one in the group who didn't seem affected by Shindou's tardiness. He plucked his guitar quietly, as though he wasn't the slightest bit concerned. He knew Shuichi well enough to be confident that his friend wouldn't let them down.

"If necessary Hiro and I could go out and warm up the crowd," Fujisaki suggested.

"Don't worry, Shu will be here," Hiroshi replied calmly.

"I really hope so. This is really unprofessional of him, you know. Letting us wait like this. I don't know why Seguchi-san keeps up with his behavior."

"Give him a break, short stuff."

"Five more minutes," K growled menacingly. "I'll give him five more minutes before Mr. Magnum and I will go looking for him. And I swear…"

The door swung open before the manager could finish the threat, and Shuichi Shindou bounced into the dressing room like a hyperactive bunny rabbit. "La Li Ho…Did I miss anything?"

"You are late."

"I can explain, K-kun," Shuichi blinked innocently at the tall blond. "It really isn't my fault, you see. I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when I was suddenly attacked by a hoard of crazy fan girls. I tried to run away, but they chased my down. They pulled me into a car and kidnapped me and tied me down. But when they started to fight about me I managed to escape and …" he spread out his arms. "Here I am."

K glared daggers at him. "Shindou, you are lying like a dog."

"I'm not lying," the singer insisted. "I just have a very active imagination. But who cares anyway, right? Most importantly, I'm here now, aren't I. So cool your jets, K-kun, before you give yourself a heart attack." He winked at the manager as he walked past him.

"Just get ready, please." Sakano pleaded, as he wiped a few sweat drops from his forehead. "The show begins in less than ten minutes."

As he and K left the room, Shuichi started to change into his stage outfit. While he was bending down to tie his shoes he didn't even realize that his butt was perfectly in Hiro's line of view until his friend slapped him teasingly.

"Cute little ass you have there."

"Hey, cut it out. Only one person is allowed to put his hands on that ass," Shu replied playfully. "But do you really think it's cute?"

"You guys are just sick," Fujisaki remarked. "You should be thinking about our concert now and nothing else."

_Look who is talking._ Shuichi snorted. _Aren't you the one who told Yuki that you have the same taste in men as your cousin, before you were even fully weaned off your baby bottle? Now that's what I call sick. And I'll never forgive you for that, Suguru. Nobody and I mean **nobody** hits on **my** Yuki; especially not while I'm eavesdropping. _

Just then the door opened and Sakano stuck his head into the dressing room. "It's time to go on stage. Are you guys ready?"

"Not really," Shuichi gave him an innocent look. "Can you give us another… let's say thirty minutes?"

"Shindou!?" the producer wailed.

Shuichi grinned, showing him two rows of pearl white teeth. "Just kidding, Sakano-kun. Of course we are ready. You are so gullible."

"You are killing me, Shuichi," the dark-haired man groaned.  
#####

Eiri leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses to rub his burning eyes.

_Almost done, _he thought with a sigh of relieve. When the novelist reached for a cigarette he realized that the pack was empty. He tossed it into the trash can next to his desk and rose to get himself a new package. As he walked through the living room his eyes caught a small white envelope lying on the table.

_Shuichi's concert_, he remembered, as he picked up the envelope and removed a single ticket. _Its tonight, isn't it?_

::: Begin Flashback :::

"We will be playing at the Koseinenkin at the 27th." Shuichi was lying curled up on the couch, which his head in Yuki's lap. Eiri was playing with his hair while they were watching TV.

"Ah."

"It will be our 100th concert."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence before Eiri spoke again. "Why don't you just ask me? You want me to come to watch your show, don't you?"

"Well…" Shuichi glanced up at his lover. "Would you want to come?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Great! There is a ticket for you on the table." The younger man smiled.

Eiri snorted in slight amusement as he cupped Shuichi's face. "You got me a ticket before you even ask me if I wanted to go. Isn't that a little assuming of you?"

"Yep, that's me." Shuichi gave a lopsided grin, as Yuki dipped his head to kiss him.

::: End of Flashback :::

Eiri glanced at his watch. _The concert has already started, but if I leave now I should be able to catch the end of the show. We could go out afterward for a drink or a bite to eat – as long as he doesn't insist on visiting one of his usual burger joints._

The blond novelist nodded to himself. _I can finish the script tomorrow before my meeting with the publisher. And I really could take a break right now._

He walked into the bedroom to change his clothes. Less than ten minutes later he pulled out of the driveway and headed toward Shinjuku. It was Friday evening and traffic was still heavy. Eiri rolled down the driver-side window. The cool night breeze felt refreshing on his face.  
  
#####

"Thank you! Thank you everybody for coming!" Shuichi smiled and waved at the crowd before he and the rest of the band walked off the stage.

The fans clapped, screamed and whistled for a while longer, but when they realized that they didn't get any more encore performances, they started slowly to leave the club.

After jumping around on stage the way he did, and singing his heart out Shuichi should have been exhausted, but at the moment he was till so high on adrenalin that he could have given another show in a heartbeat.

One hundred concerts and he still got excited every time he faced the crowd. This was what he and Hiroshi had dreamed off when they first started practicing in his parent's garage. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that they had actually made it. Bad Luck didn't turn out to be so unlucky after all.

"Let's go somewhere and celebrate!" Suddenly Shuichi pounced at his friend, wrapping his arms around Hiro's neck and his legs around the young man's hips.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop that. If somebody sees us they might get the wrong idea."

"Are you worried about my reputation or yours?" Shu grinned. "You are the only one who can tease, you know." He took a nip at his friend's earlobe, making Hiroshi actually blush.

"Baka, stop that."

Shuichi laughed.

"Don't you guys think that's enough? Let's get packed up and out of here." K rolled his eyes. _Worst than a bunch of school kids_ When he looked toward the backstage exit he thought he saw somebody standing just outside the door in the corridor. All he could see in the dim light was the outline of a tall, slender man.

"K-kun," one of the stage-hands asked him. "What about the microphones?"

"Those are ours. Load them up together with the instruments," he called over his shoulder. When he turned his head again the figure by the door was gone. The blond frowned and wondered if he was just imagining things.

"Shu, you are heavy. Get down before I drop you."

"What, are you saying I'm fat?" Shuichi managed to sound offended.

"No, you said that," Hiro freed himself from his friend's grasp and dropped him unceremoniously onto the ground.

Shuichi let out an undignified yelp as he landed on his butt. "Hey what was that for? That hurt."

"Stop!"

Both Shuichi and Hiro froze as they suddenly stared into the black barrel of a gun.

"May I introduce you to Mr. Magnum 44?" K spoke casually. "If the two of you don't stop fooling around Mr. Magnum will get **really** angry. And that wouldn't be good, trust me; because if Mr. Magnum gets angry brains will be flying everywhere. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

Shu and Hiroshi swallowed, then shook their heads in unison.

"Good," K nodded in satisfaction as he re-holstered the pistol. "It's a real bitch to clean up blood and brains"

#####

_I should have known better_. Eiri felt numb, as he left the club and walked back to his car. _I should have known better than to allow him to get this close. I should have thrown him out the moment I got bored with him. That has always worked in the past. How could I for only a second believe that the little brad was serious about anything he told me? Am I really that desperate that I allow myself being put through this shit again? I don't think so. _

Numbness was starting to give way to anger as he climbed behind the wheel of his Mercedes. _He's played with me. The fucking asshole played with me, and I bet he got a good laugh out of it too.  
_

#####

Hiroshi was woken by a knock – no, a bang - at his apartment door. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand as he pushed away his covers.

It was shortly after three o' clock in the morning. He had gone to bed little more than an hour earlier. After their performance the band had gone out to celebrate their 100th concert. But once the adrenalin rush was over he had realized how exhausted he was, and he had split after only a few drinks.

Hiro cursed as he climbed out of bed, who the hell wanted to see him at this hour of the night. His visitor, apparently not the most patient person either, pounded against the door once more.

"Alright," he yelled, his voice heavy with sleep, as he shuffled to the door, "Alright already, I'm coming."

The moment he opened the lock, the door was pushed open with force. Hiro instinctively took a step backward. He blinked in surprise at the intruder. "Yuki Eiri?!"

The blond writer glared down at him. "Is he here?" he barked, as he fully pushed his way into the apartment.

"Is who here?" Hiroshi scowled back at the taller man. "Who the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't play games with me. I'm in no mood." Eiri growled. "You know very well that I'm talking about Shindou." He grabbed the young man by the front of his T-shirt and slammed him against the wall.

The impact momentarily knocked the wind out of Hiro, and he saw stars when the when his head hit the hard concrete. There was something in Yuki's eyes that made his blood freeze. He swallowed convulsively, the last sign of sleepiness gone from his startled eyes. "What makes you think that Shuichi would be here?" he asked, once he was able to breathe again.

Eiri removed his hand from Hiroshi's shirt, only to grab him by the throat instead. "I saw you and him together after your concert." His amber colored eyes darkened, as he tightened his grip slightly. "If there is something going on between the two of you I want to know. And you'd better not lie."

"Does it really matter to you?"

"It does," Eiri confirmed. "I'm not going to waste my time on somebody who…"

Hiro saw red. His fists clenched in rage. Forgotten was the threat in Yuki's eyes, and the fact that the man could break his neck like a twig if he chose to. "Wasting _your_ time?" he growled. "What the fuck are you talking about, you egotistical son of a bitch? You are the one who has been stringing Shuichi along for the past two years. You are playing with him like he is some kind of toy. How dare you talk about him wasting your time? I do care for Shu, that's true, because he is my friend – if that concept means anything to you? But even if I wanted more, I would never have a chance against you, because Shu loves you more than anything. He loves you, and he worships the ground you are walking on. Maybe if you wouldn't be so fucking self-centered you would realize that.  
I don't know what you saw, or what you think you saw, but there is nothing going on between me and Shuichi. He was only joking around."

Eiri blinked. He slowly removed his hand from Hiroshi's throat, turned and walked away without saying as much as a word.

Hiro swallowed and reached up to massage his sore neck. _The guy is fucking nuts_, he thought. When he pushed away from the way to close and relock the door he realized that his knees were shaking.

#####

Eiri barely noticed that it had started to rain when he left Nakano's apartment complex and walked across the street where his car was parked. He wasn't even angry anymore, just tired.

He wasn't sure if he had preferred it if Hiroshi would have admitted that he and Shindou were more than just friends. At least that would have confirmed his suspicion that there was no such thing as love; that Shuichi was not much different from Yuki, and that it wasn't a good idea to allow anybody to get too close.

Was he just being paranoid? Was he seeing things that didn't really happen? Part of him still wasn't fully convinced.

He climbed back into his Mercedes and drove of. At this time of night the streets were nearly empty. Eiri glared at the road ahead of him. He didn't even realize that he was speeding.

Suddenly there was something in the middle road; a dog, or maybe a raccoon, Eiri couldn't be sure. It happened way too fast. He only saw dark fur and a pair of golden colored eyes when the creature was caught in his headlights.

_Shit!_ He pushed the breaks and jerked the steering wheel around, trying to avoid the animal. On the rain-slick street his tires lost traction, and he could feel the Mercedes swerve. Before Eiri was able to react the car spun out and crashed into a road sign hard enough to inflate the driver-seat airbag.

Eiri cursed as he climbed out of the car, slightly dazed. He could feel something warm and sticky run over his face. Carelessly he wiped the trickle of blood away with his sleeve, as he settled down on curb.

He was still sitting there when a police car pulled up behind his Mercedes.

#####

"I'm sorry for bothering you at this time of the night," Eiri apologized as he climbed into Seguchi's car, in front of the police station about two hour later. "I just didn't know who else to call."

Tohma gave him one of his brilliant smiles. "Please Eiri, you can call me any time, day or night, and I would never consider it a bother. More importantly, are you alright?"

Eiri nodded, as he touched the bandage on his forehead. They had checked him over, right after given him a sobriety test and before booking him for driving under influence of alcohol. "I'm fine. But the press will have a field day with this."

"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of that," Tohma assured him as he started the car, "unless of course you would like a little publicity, now that your new book is about to be released."

Eiri gave his brother in law a humorless smile. "This is not the kind of publicity my publishers would like, trust me."

"You really shouldn't drink and drive, Eiri." Seguchi's voice was very soft and very gentle.

The blond novelist snorted. "I had a couple of beers during the day and a few drinks at dinner. I'm not drunk. I was trying to avoid running over a fucking dog."

"Would you like to come over to my place for the rest of the night? We could talk." Tohma looked at him from the site.

"Thank you, but no." Yuki gave a cynical huff. "The last thing that I need right now is one of my sister's lectures on how to live my life."

"Mika isn't home. She left for a trip to Europe this morning, and she won't be back fro at least four to five weeks. So, you are welcome to stay for a while if you want." Seguchi offered.

Eiri shook his head. "I have a meeting with somebody from my publisher's office later today. I need to get some sleep and my script finished."

"How is it coming? The script I mean."

"It's pretty much finished. Just some editing I still have to do."

"That's good." Tohma gave the blond another look from the side. "And how are things between you and Shindou-san?"

"Wonderful," Eiri lied without even blinking. "Things really couldn't be better. Thanks for asking."

* * *

T.B.C.

Author's Note:

This fic is probably based more on the manga, therefore I'm using a little stronger language than the anime would use.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, constructive criticism is welcome :-) 


	4. Part 3

**Thank you everybody for reviewing. Your feedback is very encouraging, especially since this is my first Gravitation fic. **

**Teletha**** – **thanks for pointing the typos out. I try my best, but English is only my second language, and I haven't found a beta reader for this fic yet. As for Shuichi calling K, K-kun, he does a few times in the manga.  
And about Tohma being evil, well I hope you are not going to be too disappointed. Again, I'm going mainly by the manga. Although I wouldn't call Tohma really "evil" I think it is pretty clear that he is rather manipulative, controlling and at times self-serving. Even Eiri calls him a "shark". He does care for Eiri no doubt about that, but perhaps a little too much.

* * *

**Ghosts and Inner Demons**

Part 3

Shuichi raised his head from the table surface with a sigh and looked at K. "Why did you have to drag me out of my bed in the middle of the night? I was still asleep, you know."

"It's nearly noon," K pointed out. "We have got a lot of work to do today. You knew that when you got drunk last night."

"Drunk? Who was drunk?" Shuichi objected. "I had only two drinks."

"That's even worse. Didn't anybody ever tell you that getting only half drunk is a waste of money?"

Shuichi blinked and stared at the manager for a few seconds, trying to find sense in K's logic. Just then the door opened and Hiroshi walked into the dressing room. Shuichi turned his head and frowned slightly as he looked his friend over. "What have you been doing last night? You look like shit," he remarked in a matter of fact. "Are those hickeys on your neck? What'd you do; make out with a blowfish?"

"Shut up," Hiro told him in a slightly edgy ton of voice. "For your information, those are no hickeys."

When his friend stepped closer and turned his head to the side Shuichi could see that indeed they weren't. The marks on Hiro's neck looked more like bruises; prints left by somebody's fingers. The singer's frown deepened. "What happened?"

"Your so-called lover, Yuki Eiri is what happened;" Hiroshi explained. "He stopped by at my place last night."

"What? Why?" Shuichi gave his friend a confused look.

Hiro shrugged. "Apparently the nutcase saw us fooling around backstage after the show and got the wrong idea."

_Yuki came to see the concert. He does care after all._ For a moment Shindou was delighted that his lover cared enough about him to actually get jealous. But that moment was short-lived, because images of a bleeding and beaten Ma flashed through his mind, and he suddenly remembered what Yuki was capable of doing when he got furious.

Shuichi swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Hiroshi made a dismissive gesture, as he walked over to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup of java. "It's alright."

"No, it's not alright." Shindou jumped up, fists clenched in anger. "He could have hurt you, Hiro. He really could have hurt you. Who does he think he is?" With that the young man headed for the door.

"Where the hell do you think you are going?" K yelled after him. "We have work to do"

"I need to make a phone call. I'll be right back."

Hiro scratched his head, as the door slammed shut behind his friend. _Maybe I should just have kept my mouth shut? That nutcase, Eiri Yuki, is scary, but not as scary as an angry Shuichi_.

###

Eiri woke up around one in the afternoon, with a slight headache. He could feel the pressure behind his eyes and knew that it would probably get a lot worse before it got better.

_Great_, he thought. _I need to finish my manuscript and I have a meeting with Mizuki in less than three hours. A headache is just what I need to top it off_.

He stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit it before he climbed out of bed. On his way to the kitchen he noticed that he light on his answer machine was blinking, indicating that somebody had called while he was sleeping.

_Maybe Mizuki is checking up on me to make sure that I won't disappear on her again_. Eiri hit the "play" button as he walked by.

"One message, 11:43 am: Yuki are you there? Pick up the fucking phone if you are listening…"

Yuki stopped in his tracks and turned his head. He almost hadn't recognized Shuichi's voice beneath all that anger.

"…Hiro told me you showed up at his place last nigh. What the hell do you think you are doing? You know, I really don't care if you treat me like dirt, tell me that I'm stupid and that I have no talent. I have learned to live with that. But I won't allow you to mess with my friends. Do you hear me? What's wrong with you anyway? I barely ever tell me that you love me. You are only nice to me when we have sex, yet you act like you own me, Yuki. I have kept up with your shit for two years because I love you. But this time you have gone too far. I don't ever want to see you again. Go to hell for all I care."

"Been there, done that." Yuki snorted sardonically as he turned away and walked into the kitchen. When he opened the fridge he realized that he was out of beer.   
_Damn it, I meant to go shopping yesterday, what happened? Oh right, I went to the fucking concert instead._

Eiri made himself some coffee and walked with a cup in his hand into his study. He sat down at his computer and started reading over the parts of his manuscript that still needed to be worked on. When he reached the last two chapters he frowned. _What the hell was I smoking when I wrote this?_ Eiri highlighted almost the entire two chapters before hiding the "Delete" key. _There is no way I'm going to turn it in for publishing like that._

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. His headache was getting worse.

###

Kanna Mizuki had to ring the doorbell several times before Eiri finally opened. The novelist looked like he had just rolled out of bed, but the fact that he was wearing his glasses told her that he had been probably working.

"Oh, it's you." He sounded almost disappointed, as though he had been expecting somebody else.

"We have an appointment," she reminded him with a charming smile.

"Yes, I know," Eiri stepped aside to let her enter. "I was working and just didn't realize what time it was."

"If you will just give me the manuscript, Mr. Eiri, I'll be out of here in not time, and you can right back to your work."

Eiri gestured for her to take a seat. He removed his glasses, put them down on the table and lit himself a cigarette before he sat down in the chair across from her. "I'll need another day or two to finish the novel."

"But Mr. Eiri, you promised that you would have it finished by today. Mr. Eiko extended your deadline twice already."

"I know." He blew out a lounge–full of smoke before he continued. "But writing a novel isn't like baking cookies which you put in the oven, set the timer and expect to be ready when the buzzer goes off."

_I realize that, but Mr. Eiko is going to rip my head off when I come back to the office without the manuscript and yet another excuse._ Mizuki sighed inwardly. "May I at least see what you have got so far?"

"Of course." The blond novelist nodded and rose to retrieve the printout from his study. "I had just finished making some tea when you came, can I offer you a cup?" he asked, as he handed her the papers.

"That would be lovely, thank you." Kanna gave him a polite smile.

She could here him rummage in the kitchen, while she quickly scanned over the manuscript. She had read part of it earlier already and was just catching up on the newest chapters. A few minutes later Eiri walked back into the living room, carrying a tray with dishes and a teapot. Mizuki couldn't help but notice that his hands were trembling slightly as he filled her cup. She looked up at him concerned. "Are you alright, Mr. Eiri? You look a little pale."

He gave her one of his sarcastic smirks. "I have been working almost five days straight, I have barely gotten any sleep in that time and I have a headache. But other than that I feel just peachy, thanks for asking."

There was a short moment of silence while she sipped at her tea, then she asked. "Have you and Shindou-san been fighting again?"

He snorted. "What makes you say that? Not that it would be any of your business to begin with."

"Just a woman's intuition, I guess." She smiled at him charmingly_. And the fact that you are always a little more testy than usually when the two of you had a fight._ "But anyway, I'll take these to Mr. Eiko if you don't mind. I'm sure I can convince him somehow to give you another few days." _Not that he has much of a choice._ "It looks good so far. Not that I expected anything less from you, Mr. Eiri. It seems to have quite a bit of angst in it, but that's what your readers love, isn't it?"

"I guess though."

"Well I'd better be going now." Mizuki put the papers into her handbag and rose. "Thank you for the tea, Mr. Eiri."

###

Eiri was standing by the window, popping open a can of beer– he had gone to the store shortly after Mizuki had left - , when a white BMW pulled up behind his Saab convertible. For a moment he considered pretending that he wasn't home, but it was already too late. Tohma Seguchi had seen him as he climbed out of his car, and waved up to him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he opened the door for his brother in law.

"I was near by and decided to come by and see how you are, Eiri-kun. I thought you might need a ride to the impound yard to get your car."

_Right, I almost forgot about that._ The police had impounded his Mercedes when they arrested him the night before. "You didn't have to trouble yourself, you know. I could have taken a taxi." Eiri said as they walked into the living room.

Tohma just smiled at him. "No trouble at all." He opened his coat and pulled off his leather gloves before he settled down on the couch. The producer of N-G records let his gaze wander for a few moments before he asked. "Did Shindou move out again? Did the two of you have a fight?"

"Why do people keep asking me that? It's nobody's business but his and mine." The novelist snorted. "Why is everybody so concerned about my personal life?"

"I'm not concerned about your personal life, I'm concerned about you," the older man clarified. "You look a little pale. Are you alright, Eiri-kun?"

"I have a headache. And I haven't been sleeping well," Eiri admitted. "Yuki! I know, I said that I never want to forget him, but it would be nice if he would leave me alone for a few nights every once in a while."

"You are working too hard. Maybe you should leave town for a few days," Tohma suggested. "You have been very busy lately."

"I'm still busy," Eiri pointed out. "The novel isn't finished yet." For some reason, Tohma's presence reminded him that he hadn't taken his medication yet. He walked into the kitchen picked up the small bottle and poured two pills into his hand. He swallowed them and washed them down with the rest of his beer.

Seguchi gave him a somewhat concerned look. "I believe, you are not supposed to take those with alcohol."

The blond writer just shrugged as he tossed the empty beer can into the trash. He did it all the time. "Umm…I was just about to take a shower," he said, hoping that Seguchi would take the hint.

"By all mean, Eiri-kun, don't let me stop me. I'll just make myself useful and cook dinner while you are in the shower. We can drive to the impound yard later. What would you like to eat?"

Eiri glared at his brother in law. "Why are **you** offering **me** food in my own house? If anything, shouldn't **I** be the one inviting **you** for dinner?"

"I don't mind cooking for you, Eiri-kun." Tohma gave him a brilliant smile.

That wasn't really the point, but Eiri was in no mood to argue. He just shook his head and shuffled into the bathroom. He turned on the water and undressed while it was getting warm. He gave a content sigh as he stepped into the shower. For a long moment he just stood there and let the hot water run over his head and back for a long while, simple enjoying the massaging effects of the powerful jets. His headache was finally starting to subside too.

He loved taking long showers, and so did Shuichi. Sometimes they would stay in here together until the water ran cold, only to end up in bed afterward and get sweaty and sticky all over again.

_Shuichi! I made a complete fool of myself last night, didn't I?_ Eiri snorted. _What was I thinking? I have never allowed anybody get under my skin like that. But then again, I have never met anybody like him before. He can be such a brad, and he gets constantly on my nerves. Sometimes I even wonder if he does that on purpose. And yet, I can't get him completely out of my head. I actually miss the little baka when he is gone for too long. And that's what really scares me. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to have to go through that pain again. I'm not sure if it was a good idea to let him get so close to me. But I suppose it's too late now. _

Suddenly he regretted that he hadn't erased Shuichi's message from the answer machine, although he didn't really think that Tohma would go as far as listening to it. However if he did, Eiri was sure, he would be pleased. He was well aware that Seguchi had never too keen about his relationship with Shuichi.

"Eiri-kun!"

The blond almost jumped at the sound of Tohma's voice. "What the hell are you going in here, get out!"

"You didn't lock the door, so I thought you wouldn't mind." Seguchi replied calmly. "Do you have any tofu?"

"Not in here I don't," Eiri snapped. "If there isn't any in the fridge I'm out."

"I'll check again, but if you don't have any I guess I'll just have to do without."

Eiri Yuki glared at the door after it had closed behind Tohma. He turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He locked the door to prevent any further unwanted disturbances before he started to dry himself off and got dressed. By the time he stepped out of the bathroom dinner was almost finished.

"Why don't you set the table, Eiri-kun? I'm almost done here," his brother in law suggested.

###

Dinner was a rather quiet affair. Eiri wasn't in the mood for small talk. He more or less moved his food from one side of the plate to the other before finally pushing it away.

"You barely ate. Didn't you like it?"

"It tasted great, but I'm just not hungry." It wasn't even a lie. Tohma really was a great cook. It was one of the things not many people knew about him.

Eiri rose and picked up some dishes. He carried them to the sink before he walked over to the liquor cabinet and reached for a bottle of brandy. "Do you want a drink?"

"No, thank you." Seguchi, walking into the kitchen with the rest of the dishes, shook his head. "And I don't think you should drink any more either."

The blond just snorted. He only had two beers all day long. .

Suddenly Tohma's hand was on the bottle. "I mean it. Your medication and alcohol don't mix well. You should know that."

"Don't tell me when I should drink and when I shouldn't. It's none of your fucking business," Eiri snapped. "Stop acting like my father." The blond writer stood almost toe to toe with Seguchi. A lesser man would have cringed under Eiri's intense glare, but Tohma didn't even blink. Even his voice was surprisingly calm as he said: "Maybe I'd better go."

"Maybe you should." Yuki agreed coldly.

* * *

T.B.C.

Author's Note:

Feedback is greatly appreciated, constructive criticism is welcome :-)


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